Grief and Beauty - An Oxymoron

In the darkest moments following my sister’s death, I would sit on the couch every morning. I sat there out of habit and desperation. I was desperate for something.

I tried so hard to make that something happen. The same routine as usual; warm cup of coffee in my hand, printed Bible verses I had prayed everyday for 10 years, and a heart desperate for God’s comfort.

But there was nothing. Silence. Silence in my head. Silence in my heart. Silence on my mouth.

During one of those moments, my mind was in one of those foggy places and a word came to me. Softly. Gently. Barely there.

The word was “beautiful.”

I let the word wash over me. I felt it deep in my soul. I spiritually, emotionally, and physically experienced “beautiful.”

Mind you, I am a processor. So, I began to analyze and process what in the world could be beautiful about this pain? How is this dark place, this unfair situation, beautiful?

To my surprise, I didn’t need to think hard at all. I just knew. I knew the answer.

When we grieve, we grieve because we love. God put a person in our life that we deeply connected to. We were given the gift of relationship with that person. A soul to soul relationship.

We have all lost people who we weren’t close to. A grandmother we saw once a year, a neighbor we never knew, an acquaintance we worked with once. Sure, we were sad when they died because death is sad, but we didn’t grieve. Not like this.

Why? Because you didn’t share the gift of true love with that person.

When you are hurting and grieving deeply, search your spirit for the word “beautiful.” It will come. You will find it. And then, let it wash over you as you feel the beautiful connection you have with your loved one. They are the only one who could connect with you in such a unique way.

And, that my friends, is a gift. The truest, most amazing gift.

Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7

A beautiful gift.

May beauty rise from the ashes,

Laura

#Grief #grieving #loss